Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Two words: blizzard sex
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
