you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
