he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
