Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
