i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
