she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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