called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This is the high leading the old right now
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
