I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
