dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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