Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
