Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
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Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
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We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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