I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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