well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
