how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
