I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
