i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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