looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Wonâ€™t Believe
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel