Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."

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  (415): I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker." http://tfl.nu/s149
  Replies (75) Good night (1251) Bad night (5120)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario

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  (541): I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style (1-541): Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario http://tfl.nu/q9jy
  Replies (44) Good night (1932) Bad night (1123)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..

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  (314): Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is.. http://tfl.nu/1wrs
  Replies (50) Good night (2203) Bad night (9384)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard

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  (863): And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard http://tfl.nu/4drm
  Replies (22) Good night (8088) Bad night (940)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...

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  (618): i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw... http://tfl.nu/24ry
  Replies (26) Good night (1321) Bad night (5125)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots

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  (905): Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots http://tfl.nu/aobh
  Replies (14) Good night (2840) Bad night (1761)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard

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  (314): You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard http://tfl.nu/m8tv
  Replies (4) Good night (2274) Bad night (986)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted

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  (785): totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted http://tfl.nu/rzdq
  Replies (2) Good night (3288) Bad night (669)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?

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  (919): Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas? http://tfl.nu/7kpc
  Replies (6) Good night (1963) Bad night (1131)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!

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  (720): The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED. (1-720): OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby! http://tfl.nu/5dg1
  Replies (2) Good night (1343) Bad night (451)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.

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  (480): It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood. http://tfl.nu/ktz5
  Replies (4) Good night (1886) Bad night (540)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.

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  (412): He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up. http://tfl.nu/78zr
  Replies (8) Good night (428) Bad night (1619)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?

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  (717): there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right? http://tfl.nu/jd9g
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (278)
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  (585): View more from New York

  So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange

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  (585): So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange http://tfl.nu/waj5
  Replies (5) Good night (450) Bad night (344)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW

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  (239): THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW http://tfl.nu/gnot
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (190)

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