You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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