Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.

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  (248): did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there. http://tfl.nu/0o4m
  Replies (6) Good night (1421) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more

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  (814): To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more http://tfl.nu/cvqr
  Replies (5) Good night (3216) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee

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  (225): Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee http://tfl.nu/zf15
  Replies (29) Good night (5941) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list

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  (301): This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list http://tfl.nu/qiye
  Replies (14) Good night (4451) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.

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  (616): it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor. http://tfl.nu/agj1
  Replies (20) Good night (720) Bad night (4384)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (54) Good night (73388) Bad night (2466)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i just sold back the books i vomitted on

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  (856): i just sold back the books i vomitted on http://tfl.nu/74a4
  Replies (12) Good night (4206) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.

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  (281): i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night. http://tfl.nu/0cve
  Replies (71) Good night (1522) Bad night (6286)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..

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  (707): I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution.. http://tfl.nu/dcg9
  Replies (18) Good night (4505) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

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  (401): It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss. http://tfl.nu/0y0a
  Replies (1) Good night (1189) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.

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  (734): He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls. http://tfl.nu/b02k
  Replies (6) Good night (1972) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

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  (832): Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only. http://tfl.nu/5mf4
  Replies (4) Good night (669) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.

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  (505): Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds. http://tfl.nu/oq4c
  Replies (2) Good night (835) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...

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  (919): If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know... http://tfl.nu/u1x9
  Replies (5) Good night (788) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick

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  (812): This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick http://tfl.nu/hypd
  Replies (1) Good night (242) Bad night (486)

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