Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market

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  (586): I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market http://tfl.nu/4otb
  Replies (1) Good night (864) Bad night (972)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant

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  (301): if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant http://tfl.nu/x9ap
  Replies (5) Good night (1146) Bad night (583)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure

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  (506): drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure http://tfl.nu/j4nn
  Replies (12) Good night (3107) Bad night (1071)
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  (909): View more from California

  It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity

  (909): View more from California

  Something's gotta give!

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  (909): It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity (909): Something's gotta give! http://tfl.nu/w8ji
  Replies (23) Good night (703) Bad night (1628)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.

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  (405): He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk. http://tfl.nu/iths
  Replies (47) Good night (1022) Bad night (3846)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.

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  (226): I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop. http://tfl.nu/0sxf
  Replies (4) Good night (3544) Bad night (1138)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?

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  (913): Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar? http://tfl.nu/6f8e
  Replies (10) Good night (2386) Bad night (812)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice

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  (954): I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice http://tfl.nu/nj79
  Replies (5) Good night (1515) Bad night (804)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.

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  (419): Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/oeq7
  Replies (4) Good night (1279) Bad night (517)
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  (707): View more from California

  Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa

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  (707): Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa http://tfl.nu/616r
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (323)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options

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  (859): I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options http://tfl.nu/2zyd
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (311)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.

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  (312): His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30. http://tfl.nu/n2s4
  Replies (1) Good night (341) Bad night (660)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown

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  (330): And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown http://tfl.nu/9oqz
  Replies (0) Good night (484) Bad night (340)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES

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  (604): The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada (1-604): PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES http://tfl.nu/q2yd
  Replies (1) Good night (681) Bad night (194)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.

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  (678): If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed. http://tfl.nu/28dl
  Replies (0) Good night (373) Bad night (199)

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