she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
