Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(765): View more from Indiana

looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...

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(619): View more from California

after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.

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(417): View more from Missouri

you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up

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(309): View more from Illinois

I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time

(1-309): View more from Illinois

I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it

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(309): View more from Illinois

I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.

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(805): View more from California

I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka

(714): View more from California

I could

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel

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