my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.