Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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