K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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