O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
