I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
