All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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