I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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