i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
how does that bad decision feel?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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