The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
