Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
