Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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