i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
