dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
