he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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