Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
