I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.