Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD