how hairy? two words: wookie tits
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
