But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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