My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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