why didn't you poke me back
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize