I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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