Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."