I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.