I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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