I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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