Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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