At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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