Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
