i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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