I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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