Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
