Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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