Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
