you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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