he wants to bone in the snuggie
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
