Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize