so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
