chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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