dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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