He kissed a someone with a penis
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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