somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Every concussion has its silver lining
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize