I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
