It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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