Barsexuality is the new black.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
