just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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