so that wasnt chicken after all
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
