So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Randomize
