Will you blow on my dice?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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