i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
