Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
