You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize