woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
