i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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