I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
