Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize