i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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