I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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