i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
